The BRIT awards? More like the shit awards. Nevertheless, here are some of the “highlights” of the ceremony:

Jay-Z and Alicia Keys dining out on Empire State of Mind once again.

Florence + The Machine with Dizzee Rascal with a hybrid mash-up of You’ve Got The Love and Dirtee Cash.

A very weird Lady Gaga rendition of Telephone and Dance In The Dark.

A lesson in vocal miming by Cheryl Cole.

Peter Kaye calling Liam Gallagher a knobhead.

A weird performance from Ellie Goulding where it sounds like she is singing over her own song rather than performing it herself.